Thursday, 17 October 2013

Curious case of Indian relatives

Indian relatives are terrifying and their weapons of mass destruction are their questions. 
This issue needs to be addressed. We cannot progress as a nation if we constantly have our relatives pulling us back by asking those inane questions. No I don’t mean Pakistan and Bangladesh when I say relatives. I mean our individual relatives. It starts off very mildly when we are children with what seems like an acceptable small talk, 'what class are you in beta?’ If they are sadists, they will go ahead and ask you the name of the school and probably a poem too. We are only mildly irritated at best. It gets dangerous as we step into our teens when questions go into 'Beta maths loge bio ya fir commerce?' which roughly translates into 'Will you be an engineer, doctor or do you not get enough marks in school?' Horror grows with time and questions take the form of 'Aur kya karne ki sochi hai?', when you are in college. It's a dangerous question because you don’t really want to know about the person’s sexual fantasy and that is the only thing he has thought of during his college days. After college the questions become ‘Aaj kal kya kar rahe ho?’ You want to tell them ‘Isi bakwas question ko answer kar raha hun’ but you can’t. All this might seem like a torture but you haven’t seen anything yet. If by mistake you get a job, you will be asked ‘Shadi kab kar rahe?’ You can answer this with options like ‘Abhi toh time hai’ or ‘Masters karna hai mujhe abhi’ which only means ‘abhi thoda aur time’. This cruelty doesn’t end with marriage either. After marriage, you are grilled with your family planning initiatives by asking ‘Baccha kab kar rahe ho’ and then its super hit sequel ‘Ab dusra kab kar rahe ho?’ How are we supposed to live our lives and contribute to this nation’s success if these auditors keep disturbing us? Oh wait I just got a new life in Candy Crush.

Easy guide to be an Indian relative is given below


  1. This post has been selected for the Tangy Tuesday Picks this week. Thank You for an amazing post! Cheers! Keep Blogging :)